It’s January. Hurry quick, open that new calendar. Fill in all the empty spaces. Start that new workout. Dry January here we go. No, no, no! Never again.

In the not too distant past, I found myself at the end of January sick with worry, sick with poor health, sick with grief, and tired, oh so tired. My body was ringing a four alarm fire alert and I just wouldn’t listen. I couldn’t! People depended on me. Life pretty much brought me to my knees.

I called a friend who became my health coach, confidant, and life guide through the darkness and into the light. After listening to a litany of woes and then a list of unrealistic goals for myself, she calmly said, no. She went on to say that January is in the middle of winter. Trying to remake yourself because of a date on the calendar rings hollow and will likely fail. You need to hibernate. Listen to your body. Once you quiet your body we’ll work on the other stuff.

So I stayed in hibernation. I followed my doctor’s orders. I began researching alternative ways of listening to my body. Heeding my coach’s advice, I paid attention to the rhythm of the universe, the cycle of the moon, what my body was telling me, and I prayed alot. I prayed for longer days and shorter nights and believed I could learn to sleep again.

Spring came. It was time. I was ready. I made the decision to resign from a job I loved to focus on my health and my family.

Spring turned towards summer. School ended. I slept. And slept. And slept. For six weeks I moved from my bed to a sunny window to my yoga mat to my sunny window to my bed whenever and however I could. I went for long walks. I danced in the kitchen. I ate what my body craved. I removed “should” from my vocabulary. I healed first my body, then my heart, then my mind.

It has been a few years and I am in such a healthier place now. I work hard to stay there. My coach and I check in from time to time. We trade information and ask questions about new products. We talk about vitamins and skincare and the state of the world. Sometimes, we take long walks and trade parenting advice and share mothering woes. I am well and getting weller all the time.

I have learned to make more sacred spaces for my time and I try not to cancel on myself. The only permission I need to live my life is mine. I have gone back to teaching—sometimes for pay, sometimes as a volunteer, always for love. I volunteer in my community because I can and I want to. I care for my mother with better boundaries and lower expectations. If I want to sing, I sing. If I want to write, I write. I meet friends for dinner and long walks and coffee. I meet my husband for lunch and daytime dates. If my family will be home for dinner, we sit at the table with cloth napkins and china and celebrate being together—even if it’s take out. I am well and getting weller.

I have no big goals or resolutions for 2024 just now. It’s winter. I am still hibernating, recovering from a whirlwind holiday season and preparing for the mixed emotions of my college student leaving again. I will make space for rest regardless of the calendar.

My beginning begins when the crocus bloom and the daffodils peek out from the ground. New ideas come with longer days and shorter nights when there is time to play and explore. When the ground greens up and the leaves pop out, I will be ready. I am well and getting weller all the time. See you in the Spring.

Love y’all, Marla