Yesterday was Fat Tuesday. In the spirit of indulgence, I had fried chicken, cornbread, squash casserole, potato salad, and oatmeal chocolate chip cookies for lunch today. I did drink water instead of sweet tea—and I felt righteous. Haha.

Lent itself is a commemoration of the 40 days Jesus spent in the wilderness fasting and praying. Traditionally Lenten observations include fasting and outward displays of repentence like marking oneself with ashes in preparation for Easter. Many people “fast” from something, like giving up caffeine or sugar. I once knew a woman whose family made a financial fast and did not spend any money except for necessary groceries and bills. Her family donated that money to the church at the end of Lent.

Years ago a friend of mine said she tried to adopt a new practice or incorporate an addition into her life rather than just practice self-denial. I liked that idea so much, I tried it myself a few times.

It turns out I’m not highly successful at adding practice, nor denying self. If at first you don’t succeed, bloom again. So today I begin anew.

Although not a universal practice in the Protestant faith, I do observe Lent. I find it centering and helpful as I try to hold space for the sacred in my life. I will observe Ash Wednesday today at church with ashes on my forehead placed by the minister. I will accept the call to try again to grow in grace as I reflect and repent and renew a “right spirit within me.” This year I am going to read “Lent in Plain Sight; A Devotion through Ten Objects” by Jill Duffield. I do hope for at least one nugget of wisdom.

If I were to try to observe a fast, it would be a fast from rewarding myself with food. I am an emotional eater and drinker. I consume food and drink in celebration. I consume for comfort when I have a bad day. I consume to reward when it’s been a great day. Plainly I like food and drink. While I don’t think deriving pleasure from meals is sinful at all, using food the way I do is not always a healthy practice. I don’t “need a drink” at the end of the day, I want one. Ditto for any other food (or diet Dr. Pepper) I use as reward or comfort. I would really like to break this habit, but I don’t know how successful I will be. It isn’t the elimination of food or drink that I seek, but a reorientation of how to treat my mind and body gently. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Until then gentle reader, remember your how worthy you are and just how much you are loved. Let’s go together to the cross and see what happens.

Love Y’all, Marla