I read an article this week on the lack of college readiness in teens today. I found it disappointing because the focus was mostly on academic preparedness. While I do not doubt much of the article’s lamenting was true, there was little focus on other forms of preparedness. This generation of college bound students have different skills (for better or for worse), different upbringing (for better or worse), different experiences, and different levels of academic preparedness. These differences are out of the students’ hands almost entirely. Did we not have differences between our parents’ generation of college bound students and ourselves? Hmmm.

You know what hasn’t changed? The characteristics of a successful college student. A successful college student has intellectual curiosity, strong metacognitive skills, and good old-fashioned grit.

Unfortunately many of our high school students today have large gaps in these areas. This lack of preparation may increase the likelihood that many students will not complete their degrees regardless of academic prowess. Without these skills life itself will be hard.

Before we say, “well what can colleges do to help them transition?” let’s back up and ask, “what can we do as parents and educators to prepare our children for life after high school ?”

First things first—instill a lifelong love of learning in your child. Love of learning looks like a kid trying something new because it’s different from what they know. It looks like diving deep into a captivating subject. Love of learning looks like an after school enrichment activity, a high school elective, a book club, a chess club, a fishing club, a sport, a community theater, or a karate class. A student doesn’t need all of these at the same time—notice I wrote “or” not “and!” An activity that peaks the interest of your kid enough for them to hold a conversation about it or write a short essay about it indicates a love of learning, a willingness to work, and a coachable, teachable spirit. It also provides them with a hobby or activity for life!

The fuzzy concept known as Metacognitive skills, at its most basic definition, is thinking about your own thinking. How adaptable am I to this teaching style? Do I need to avoid lectures, or at least learn how to deal with them? How much do I need to study? Am I studying in the most efficient way for me? How do I ask for help—and know that I need to ask for help. Can I proofread my own writing? Can I put into words my ideas? How do those words sound to me—and to others? Can I learn to think differently? How well do I organize my room? My backpack? My calendar? My life? In the last dozen years, I have witnessed an alarming decline in a student’s ability to answer and act on these questions about themselves.

I will not point fingers at educators, although there are many ways we can do better. I will say teachers are under enormous pressure for students to perform well on bubble tests and benchmarks set by someone not in their classroom or school. It is difficult for teachers to justify to administrators their decision to take time to teach critical thinking even though critical thinking is what the people in charge say they want! Critical thinking takes time not tests. As educators, we must take the time to teach thinking and application, not just regurgitation. We are developing people not minions. Critical thinking is for everyone, not only the college bound.

I will point fingers at parents, self included (take a breath y’all). Parents are so busy trying to keep their families afloat—whatever that looks like for each family—they spend more hours away from their kids than with their kids. The opportunities for joint attention like family dinner, bedtime reading, playing games, just hanging out and talking happen less and less because joint attention takes time! And time can be a thief. Of energy. Of finances. Of relationships. Of rest. How we as adults choose to spend our time directly impacts our child’s life today and tomorrow.

The things we make important implicitly teach our children what they should make important. This is true whether you have Bill Gates level wealth or you have to stretch every dollar six ways to Sunday. Nobody is perfect. Many of us are still reeling from our own childhood experiences. Sometimes we don’t make the best choices, but we can always make changes! We can intentionally choose our footprint and we can show our children how to cope, adapt, and thrive.

Which brings me to grit.

The idea of grit has always been popular. We love stories about grit. We even make movies about grit—1969 John Wayne and Kim Darby, “True Grit” and the 2010 remake with Jeff Bridges and Hailee Steinfeld for example. Lately grit has been experiencing a revival in pop psychology. There are numerous TedTalks on grit. Books on resilience and perseverance cover the shelves of bookstores and coffee shops nationwide.

Grit is persevering in an action against all odds because of one’s passion for that action or goal. Grit is the willingness to fail and try again. Grit is the ability to self-regulate and stay focused on a task to completion regardless of distractions or obstacles. Grit is intrinsic motivation for personal goals and passions.

What does that look like in a college student?

• Grit is the first generation college student who finds support from outside of their family and friends when the relationship dynamics change through no fault of their own. Jealousy, anger, guilt, and codependent behavior from a friend or family member of a first generation college student is real and does happen.
• Grit is a college freshman blinking back tears and trying again and again after a professor says that her first paper is crap and she is going to have to do a lot better if she wants to stay in college.
• Grit is holding down a day job and going to college at night, or online.

Many of our students today lack this mental toughness. While there are plenty of kids out there getting it done, there are just as many floundering, waiting for the rescue that has always come, or giving up and blaming somebody else. I am honestly not sure how we got to this point, but if our nation is going to make it to the next generation, we have to do better with ALL of our kids!

My opinion on academic readiness is a post for another day, as this post is already way too long. Before we start lamenting the lack of college readiness, let’s talk about what a high school graduate looks like. That’s all for a while. Thanks for sticking with me y’all. You showed true grit in finishing this post!

Love Y’all,

Marla